I have never seen anything like this. I am aghast. It knocks all of Jamie Redknapp, Jamie Oliver, Fearne Cotton, Peaches Geldof, into a cocked hat (figuratively).
Looks like I’m going to have to take Literally Tsar global… Rachel Zoe must be stopped!
(With thanks to Jezebel for the video via @MatthewCrosby and @sonnypike)
Last week I crossed off another one of those “things to do before I die” when I appeared in the Bournemouth’s Daily Echo. Indeed for a few hours I was “7th most read story” before being edged down into 8th by a story about a spray-painted dead duck. I hadn’t actually spoken to them but they picked up the story from the earlier appearance in the Bristol Evening Post.
The curious thing was the headline: “Jamie Redknapp’s misuse of word is literally doing my head in”. A quote which was attributed to me. A worrying quote, not just because I didn’t actually say it, but because it doesn’t mean anything. It’s a criminal overuse of the L-word. Adding nothing to the sentence, and only serving to devalue further the L-word. Outrageous.
I shall complain naturally. No one misquotes the Literally Tsar!
It seems the reason they picked it up, is that Jamie Redknapp is from Bournemouth, and apparently still lives there. But sadly it turns out (though they attribute it to me), they are misusers.
It is as follows:
It’s all very well naming names and finding misuse of the word Literally but I do have to track down some of the misusers. There are a number of high-profile misusers as we know: Simon Cowell, Fearne Cotton, Jamie Oliver. But few are as wonderfully active in their misuse - as Jamie Redknapp. It is amazing how he has absolutely no idea what “literally” means - and how he adds it to any sentence which isn’t quite hyperbolic enough just to intensify the meaningless punditry of the day. Here’s a little top 20 - of his literally misuses. If you would like to join my literally facebook campaign - join here!
1. “This new ball is going quicker than ever - it literally explodes off the player’s foot.”
2. “Alonso and Sissoko have been picked to literally sit in front of the back four.” Jamie Redknapp on the Liverpool midfielders taking it easy for the Champions League game against Barcelona.
3. ‘He’s literally turned him inside out.’
4. “That cross to Rooney was literally on a plate”
5. “Evra’s literally left him for dead there.” Jamie commentating on the Community Shield.
6. “Centre forwards have the ability to make time stand still. And when Chopra got the ball, it literally did just that.”
7. “He literally turns into a greyhound” Talking about Michael Owen
8. “That could literally kick start their season” - on Man City vs Chelsea
9. “Scholes has such a great footballing brain. He’ll see a picture in his head and literally paint it in front of you.”
10. “He had to cut back inside onto his left, because he literally hasn’t got a right foot”
11. “He literally chopped him in half in that challenge”
12. “The ball is literally glued to Messi’s boot”
13. “Messi literally sends people out of the stadium with his skill”
14. “Wayne Rooney literally destroyed Tottenham on his own.”
15. “Cissé literally has pace to burn”
16. “He literally turned on a sixpence”
17. “Gerrard has been amazing. He’s literally covered every blade of grass on the pitch”
18. “He’s literally sold the defender a dummy”
19. “Martin Jol’s head is literally on the chopping block.”
20. “The crowd behind the goal are literally going insane.”
My favourite quote from him is probably when he said “I think Peter Schmeichel will be a father figure for Kasper (Schmeichel)” but he didn’t mention the L-word when he could have rather legitimately.
I am still working on a plan to teach Jamie Redknapp a lesson: Literally.
